I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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