It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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