you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
