I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize