Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
