He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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