I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
