make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
