"it" just moved
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
