we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
