Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize