Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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