I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
