as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
