Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
