He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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