No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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