Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
