Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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