I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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