I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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