he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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