sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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