one word: firstdatebathroomanal
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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