forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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