Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
