he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
