i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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