She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
