he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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