im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
