we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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