so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
