Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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