That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize