I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
