Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
