you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
