Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
