You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
