anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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