I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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