Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
