I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
