I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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