I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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