After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
