I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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