this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
