so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize