Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
