I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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