My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
