Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
