your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
