I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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