Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
