Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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