Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
