absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
