im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
