I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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