i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
