I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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