Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
