I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
