I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
false alarm, still single
Randomize
