why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Im part way to drunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
