no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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