Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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