Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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